Sunday, October 15, 2006
Had a good day with the kids, the folks. Off to anothe work week.
Finally talked to Master’s other slave. L. Although she doesn’t really seem that in to it. Perhaps it was just because of our first meeting. She says she is 99% sure and just waiting to meet Him. But I don’t know. I sensed much hesitation in her. Which then makes me question my level of hesitation or lack thereof. Which is not good. Surely it doesn’t help that I have no contact with Master on the weekends, missed a day last week when He was out and a shortened day on Friday.
I definitely need constant contact and to feel like i and W/we are actively progressing. Like I don’t think W/we have talked about a lot of things that will take this to the next level. For example, O/our meeting next week. I don’t really plan on playing. I don’t know how W/we will feel about each other at that exact moment. I don’t think that is something that is unique to me. Wouldn’t anyone, man or woman, Dom or sub, feel that way? Hey He could not be feeling me, doubt it, but its possible. I hate to assume all me act the same and are only focused on one thing. Pussy. If I wanted to be with someone who was only focused on pussy, hey thats what swingers parties are for. Right?
And Master really does not know all of the expectations that I have for this lifestyle. If He does not know those things than things could go terribly awry and dissolve what W/we have built.
Then I am caught in the terrible woman cunundrum, we want certain things from men, but we feel if we tell them exactly and specifically what we want, it goes against the point.
